Addicted 2 Food

6 April 2012
Feeling Good
It's been a while since I wrote about my dietmanagement. We're 6 weeks into the course now and I'd lost 2,5!!! kilo's. Some of you might say that 2,5 kilo's in 6 weeks isn't much but...... this programm is not about dieting. It's about learning about healthy choices, disovering your weakspots, handling your emotions and I'm proud to say that I haven't been binging for quite a while now. If I feel the urge I start to examine my feelings and walk away from the brain hunger.
I also discovered that I didn't eat enough. I've started eating 6 slices of wholeweatbread a day, avoiding hungermoments. And yes, I still do eat chips and fish ocasionally or crisps or french cheese. But I don't overeat anymore, I choose to be kind to my body and it works. Slowly but surely it's becoming easier. There are still some points of improvement, but hey, I had the wrong foodattitude for over 20 years, so give me a break ;-)
I'll continue on this route and will slowly but surely get to where I want to be.

Happy Easter!

29 Feb 2012
First Meeting
This afternoon I had my first meeting of the dietmanagement group. I went with an open mind and had no real expectations. We're a group of 8 women. The youngest is 22 and I'm the oldest at 46. When I look at these women I see strong, powerful girls, yes, we're all overweight, but we're all taking care of ourselves, dress well, take care of our appearance.
It isn't until we start to talk and tell a little bit of ourselves that I  see that the cracks are  showing and that the strong determined faces are just masks, underneath these carefully put together fronts I start to see pain and insecurities. Somewhere along the line we've lost ourselves, have started hiding ourselves, have numbed ourselves.
Is it possible to undo all this within the 15 weeks of the programm? Probably not, but I'm pretty sure we'll be able to get certain things in perspective, become aware of why we (over)eat and what the function of food is for us. I hope we'll be able to learn how to seperate the connection between emotions and food. Learn to recognize our emotions and be okay with them, allow them to exist and not try to cover them up with food.
I know it's gonna be hard. We have to let go of our diet mode (I've been in that mode for 20 years!!!) and enjoy food, without feeling guilty or thinking in terms of good and bad.
It's all pretty overwhelming but I want this, I can do this!!!

23 feb 2012
I don´t really have a sweet tooth, no, my vice is savoury snacks: nuts, crisps, cheese, crackers with salads, sausages like salami, chorizo, filled little peppers, olives I just love it all. Now if you have this in moderation I don't think it will do too much harm, but once I start on these there's hardly any stopping me. Cheeses really are dangerous escpecially blue cheeses and other strong smelling runny cheeses, very, very dangerous, unhealthy, very fatning but sooooooooo nice!!!! If it was up to me I would always choose a 4 cheese pizza, pasta whatever. The last time I opted for the pizza with fish though and guess what, I didn't  feel have as full as usual, so I'll stick to fish or veggy pizzas from now on.
As I mentioned on the homepage it's Lent. I want to really try and stay away from the savoury stuff with one exception, once a week I'm playing cards with my mum, bro and SIL I don't want to cut out that night with it's little snacks but I'll eat less and will drink lots and lots of water. I'll keep you posted :-)

21 feb 2012
I made a start, I signed up for a programm to change my lifetime of bad eatinghabbits, of facing the underlying problems and learning new tools to become a healthier, happier me. I don't need a size 10 or 12. I'm 1.79m (5.11) so I'll be very glad with a 16/18 (I am a big girl and I do like curves AND I'm almost 47 so let's stay real) so I can go into any store and by the clothes I like. I want to be able to move more lightly, I want to stop the pains and aches in my knees and back.
But I know I can't do it alone and I'm not too proud to ask for help. I'm really looking forward to next week, even though I know that it's going to be hard!

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